Tuesday, December 19, 2006
so its kind of funny how 7 days turns into 34 days....aheh ehe heh...crud. welp, ive had quite the 34 days with tons going on. ive a few things i want to do, and wrap up this ac is one of them ive 2 more to go and their planned so i just need the sketches and then the w00tness. it would help to have a working pc with pixels that dont have inverted colour,... hence why this one wasnt posted 6 days ago. next soon. chai -A
Friday, November 17, 2006
Here i am yet again, a new strip up and only a few days behind, though for valid reasons, (needed to study for big pphysics test and i need to be conscious in school so working till 3 am on the strip wasnt teh best of ideas) so i feel its ok. next in 7 or less, im hoping by monday ish, but im just gonna say soon. chai -A
Monday, November 06, 2006
Good evening once again! EC has finally returned from its month and a bit hiatus as i decided i really want to continue the strip, despite rising work. ocotber was a full month and they just keep going but ill be putting stuff up every 7-8 days from the last post, which i feel might work well.
although i havent posted i have been wporking on some images, which will hopefully become wallpapers. how ill post them i dont know but alas, i shall deal with it later. its midnight now, i need to go study for a calc test i have in 10ish hours. chai -A
Friday, September 29, 2006
so yes, this has been some weird posting, cause blogger was being troublesome again. no matter, its behaving so alls good i suppose. so what actually shouldve been posted was last on the 25th, and this one now. this this is now, my not having school, but a packed weekend should be interesting. we hall see, ive got a new look im going to demo on the next strip so itll be interesting. if only i could spend the same amount of time on the comics as these peices of art. alas. so another picture of matte, this time with her lace scythe. next one in some time. have fun till then.
by the by, my strip is also being hosted on drunk duck here. problem is (though the lay out is decent , the html i havent dealt with and the sizing isnt what it is here, whihc can be annoying.
So last weekend instead of doing a strip ( the scripts done so should should be out...soon.,.....ish) i was doing a portrait for a nice young lady who asked me. and behold teh work.. im quite pleased with teh out come, which is probly why i started on another portait only of a character, rather then an actual person. anywho, yes, comic somtime later in the next few days hopefully. -A
Thursday, September 21, 2006
yes ive alot of work, this was a quick distraction, now to sludge through physics
i try to get as much done and at 0030 i write a memoir about some stupid event that im suppose to care about. very bitter *shakes fist* and semi unintelligible, so im gonna go back and bury myself in it. ta, ill try for the actual sketches tomorow. -A
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
a few things, yes, i know i missed sundays strip so hush to the lot of you. but good news is im going to try damn hard to have the next one going up by sat/sun. about something most if not all high schools have to deal with ckl... any way, ya tons is going on, physics work and writing of some memoirs for english (how stupid is that, to have us writing memoirs at sch a young age) as well as other fun things like calc andbio. but yeah, im tired now, im gonna try to finish up my work quick and go to bed. ta -A
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Well its a week late and there is a good reason, but im far to distracted to give it, so all i can say is that ill try to get one up by wensday. school started so thats one of teh reasons why thigs have gotten hectic.
for those who dont know there alician lore (the wonderland type) this is referencing alice in wonderlands hatter, as well as the disney's version of cheshire and march hare. so yes, i am a huge alice freak... and anyone who sais it should only be read by children should be institutionalised and be forced to sit next to someone who is eating a sallad that isnt there.
wensday, must try... also, ill show off some of teh other stuff im doing. -A
Friday, September 01, 2006
Well, the beta version of blogger was giving me alot of trouble and as such summer 06 was posted on drunk duck first. but up it goes here now that i got around it. schools a starting so the sleep will be going back to 4-8 hours a night. ill make it a point to have one up every sunday, and if im feeling ambitious, wensdays too, but well see how the year works out . ta -A
Friday, August 18, 2006
Here is a new post. This one is done by "Zeus" and since Atethrie is away camping the comment is also written by Zeus. So ya, here is the new comic and whoever reads it hope you like it. And just so you know i am agnostic so god does not scare me. Sorry.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
w00+! i'm off up north if the comic wasnt clear enough, which means i want be posting anything up for a couple of weeks, but Zeus will! so he'll be putting a few up and yeah. i'm gonna have a great time, in the bleak of ontario... sob. meh, im not emo enough to whine creatively. heh. have a good time, ill be back in 2 weeks! ta -A
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Well tons has happened, and first off, happy b-day Zeus! next, sorry this one was several days late, turns out alot piles up, and colour comics are long to do, though im definitly getting better at them, i decided not to shade this one, cause at the end i realised it looked better without. the boxes took me a day to figure out how to do, but now that i know, tis all good, expect more colour in the future, proly once a month, which makes it about one every 5 ish. anywho, ill try to put anothe rup before i leave for the barren north (thursday) which means one more, and then some guest strips! anyone who wants to do one give me a shout. Atethrie@gmail.com
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
sorry it cant go up tonight, but ive realised that better looking comics actually take time, and seeing as i need to be up tomorow at an early hour to make a phone call, i need to sleep before 5 like i did last night, cause of # 12. so, next ones called Clean Up, and itll be out tomorow ish, and may even be in colour! astounding i know. im still playing with things and tweaking looks till i find something that i like and fits my style. i still like the sketched look, but the pen with sketched shade is also nice, and if i can get some shading and clenaing learned for photoshop, then ill do more colour ones. yeah, thats my rant for the night, i go sleep soon,
first try with colour and shading, and it turned out decently, not to mention, matt looks decent, this is the 4th gen of matt, and hopefully ill be able to bring everybody else into 4th as well. decided to hold off on saga for a week or so, another idea struck, so going with that, its 5 in the morning, i have to be up in several hours, sleep now, an actual comic later today or early tomorow -A
also, anyone who sais webcomics are easy to do should try it at 5 am.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Couple of things. firstly, an apology for not drawing an actual comic for today, but something small instead. jeph, the guy with the breifcase and the silenced pistol, is from an storyspeak/rpg that i did a while ago. Jeph Andonots is from a parrallel universe in which Earthbound took place( earthbound is a game i dearly love, old, snes, ya) from which im going to be writing a small story off of. kinda a dark future of earthbound, like american mcgee's alice. two other sketches ive done of jeph are here . another goes up either tomorow or wensday,
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
I'm feeling like I'm going to start into the 3-5 peice saga thingee i had planned for 3 strips back, so next one ll be up sunday or before, the one after that, up an hour later cause its already done, cept for some minor tweaking, sleep well -A
Friday, July 28, 2006
A new precendant, i'm actually posting up something early and before scheduel...whoa. so i wrote the story on a really slow morning in chem and cause of the boredom and the like. the art is done by Zeus, whose far more godlike in photoshop then i, so he was good enough to make for me. ive got 2 almost done sketchied and done, so im thinking next will be sunday, if not wendsay, as im done school. W00+!!! -A
Monday, July 24, 2006
kk, several people have been asking about #5 which i finished on may 1st (and hung on my wall) but apparently forgot to post. oh well. so instead of putting up the one i promised sunday (intro feat matt and tiff) im putting up 2 tonight, monday, although, as i glance at the clock, it turns out to be really, really early tuesday morning. the two people here are Roy (wearing the Pizza and Prtractor shirt) and Jakou (with the glasses). ive realised its kinda hard to introduce people into this thing with having an acual introduction for them, but oh well, ill work around it somehow. most likely ill cheat and use the intro strip to do more then one character...hmmmm.. or whatever. meh, ive got a second one after this so thats all for this one -A
p.s. for those of you who arent forced to take grade 10 science (when i think i first knew what it meant) it just shows your not enough of a chem nerd :P
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Alright time for some serious ranting, though itll be short and not serious at all :) . this is the first of the dozen or so ive promised, ive got bout 9-10 ish already mapped and scripted, and some of teh sketches done, so im quite happy, the next one in line , as a teaser, has matt (fetured here in this one, hes the guy dragging the.. yes) and tiffany, whol be introed in the comic, so that one should be in by sunday . i need a server! argh, must go do dishes, and some study. -A
Friday, July 07, 2006
The Wolf and the Fox
The wind had begun to howl in the early evening, but now it was calmer. No longer did those who walked along the pathways, the ones that were exposed to the wind, have to clutch their clothes and hats to themselves, lest they be stolen by the powerful breeze. Now, as the twilight set upon the sky, the wind had all but stilled. When the purple-black veil of night fell, all that one could feel of the wind was a soft touch along a cheek, or a strand of hand being gently moved.
Inside the great house, all was quiet. Sleep prevailed in most, if not all, except for one man. The man did not sleep yet, not until the first rays if the sun would he finally fall into a short slumber. He sat now, with his eyes closed, in a room, all to himself. The room was old, as was the house in which it was located, as was the man who sat, meditating until the dawn cast him to rest.
Red Wolf, startled by the cloaked figure dropping from the rafters of the ancient temple, jumped up from his meditative position. The winds shifted as his ancient eyes spied motion in the darkness. The candles he kept about him gave little light beyond several metres. The flames flickered lightly, as if moved by an invisible wind. Red Wolf’s eyes strained to pierce the darkness before, failing at that, he lunged to his left, where his blade lay at rest, the saya gleaming in the flickering warm light. The aged Wolf landed with a grace not present in most of those of his age, and by the time the candles flickered from his motion, he was crouched, blade at the ready, on the floor boards, his elegant evening robe, so richly embroidered, swirling around him lightly.
Slowly rising, he heard a soft sound off towards the far wall of the room, as if several pieces of fabric were gently rubbed together. Rising quickly, Red Wolf stepped gracefully and quietly to the door at the far wall, where he calmly flicked the lock to the door closed. Taking several steps backwards towards the light, he was glad once again for the slight amount of moon light that shone through the thin walls, otherwise he would have been forced to grope across the door in search of the latch. His breathing slowed, then jumped once more when he realised that there had been no reason to lock the door. An old man’s inclination, as his mind replayed the dark motions that had drawn him to the door. “What had triggered my actions? The shape, he thought to himself, the figure dropping down into darkness. His adversary was within the walls of the room; there had been no reason to lock his only way out. He slowly turned his back to the door, facing the patch of light, where his place of rest remained, untouched.
From the shadows around him, a deep voice resonated, old, like his own, and calm. It seemed to come from everywhere, behind every pillar, from atop every rafter, from under every floorboard, yet at the same time, nowhere.
“Please,” the voice began, “Reseat yourself, O Red Wolf. It would not do to have you grow weak from standing as we speak. I promise your safety until we are through our conversation.” The voice died away as quickly as it came. It rang through Wolf’s mind again and again. “I’ve heard that voice before…many times.” He thought to himself as he began a slow, steady pace across the floor to his mat. His eyes panned back and forth, once again, attempting to pierce the darkness.
Once again seated, Red Wolf gazed up into the darkness, addressing his shadowy adversary, once again calm and in control.
“Who, might I ask, are you? One as skilled as you has not been able to get this close to me in a decades time.” Red Wolf paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “I have many enmities towards many. Who do you represent? A demon from my past, come to seek vengeance, or perhaps a new opponent who wishes to take my place? Would you honour me with such an answer?” The man who rested in the shadows gave no answer. Red Wolf took up the lead again. “ No? Well then would you be so gracious as to grant a dead man your name? Here, allow me to introduce myself as a token.” The solemn man bowed his head, his voice seemingly stronger. “ I am called Red Wolf, leader to men the country over, lord over many, teacher to few. What is it that you are called?” Red Wolf raised his head upright, his eyes pinpointing a place dead center where a shapeless mass was beginning to form. His mind raced. Would it be an assassin sent to steal what little life remained his? Or simply someone hoping to blackmail the old man? His enemies were so numerous, at this point that he could not be sure.
No reply came. The wind once again picked up, causing the light to flicker once again. When the wind calmed after some time, the flames rose higher. Out of the darkness a shape emerged, subtle at first, but soon more definite, though still heavily shadowed. A man sat in the center of the room, cross legged in the same way that Red Wolf was sitting, though his hands were more at ease, almost casually forming a hand position in his lap. The palms of his hand arched toward each other, the thumbs touching at the point, while the fingers lay interlaced. A circle. Red Wolf would have recognised this as a simplified version of the base meditational hand seal, had he been able to discern the hands of the man.
The man spoke suddenly, his voice emanating from everywhere once again, though more clearly from the center of the room now. It began quietly though slowly rising to a comfortable level, no louder then necessary, but loud enough to be heard no matter where one stood in the dim room.
“ I am like you…I have no name. But we once did. We were real men with real names. Do you remember me, old friend?” The man cocked his head to the side, as if listening to a brook stream past him, silent to the world. Reaching into his cloak he withdrew a lit candle and placed it on the floor in front of him. The light spilled forth from the flame, a long steady tongue of fire which shed light on the man’s tired cloak, dark grey in colour, now smeared with ash and burn marks. His long grey hair tumbled straight over his shoulder in a cascade down into his cloak. He continued, “For though I am grey, I am no fox, just as you are no wolf. Yet it is those roles that have defined not only our lives, but who we are.” The man's face moved into the light of his candle, its wrinkles accented by the hot light.
A small gasp of surprise escaped Red Wolf’s mouth. His eyes grew, disbelieving what his mind was piecing together. “Gr-Grey Fox? You are here from him? That can’t be!” He stammered out, “Grey Fox was burnt alive in his house which fell to the ground! His charred body I saw myself floating down the river that ran by his house! Eleven years ago I watched the flames ravish all he held dear! Eleven years… today…”
Red Wolf looked down slowly, his gaze shifting from the impossible sight before to another unexpected sight, which lay in his lap. His hands, distant from his mind, were trembling in his lap. He looked up, back toward the ancient man who sat across from him. Red Wolf saw through the old man, to a great blaze, eleven years earlier. He spoke distantly, “ I watched you die… heard you… saw …what did I see? Did I see what I wanted to see? No, I saw you. Your end, my future. It is impossible, even for someone such as the great Grey Fox to have survived. And even if you did, why haven’t you come at me sooner?” Red Wolf paused, both eyes locked on Grey Fox’ figure. “Or have you grown impartial to your past? If so…what are you to me now? Who are you?”
The wind rustled outside, through the multiple walls, through openings, across roofs. In through windows, it travelled, invading nooks and crannies as if it had a destination in mind. The room was still.
Grey Fox spoke once more, his face lined with a deep pain and concentration.
“I am neither friend nor enemy.” Grey Fox began, “I am back from a world where such words are meaningless. I’ve removed all obstacles hindering me. Yes, I have waited a long time for this day. Now I want to enjoy the moment. I have come from another world to do battle with you.” Grey Fox’ eyes, though closed, opened slowly as he spoke these words. “Why? Nothing so trivial as revenge. A fight to the death with you. Only in that can my soul find respite. An honourable death will ease me, nothing else. I will kill you, or you will kill me… it makes no difference. For generations… have we not watched our kin wage constant war with one another, as well as with those around me? And there have been casualties on every side that our strife has touched.” His words echoed in the rafters before being swept away by the passage of wind.
Grey Fox drew in his breath slowly, for what seemed like minutes. Both men saw the faces of countless, the fallen, some who gave there lives to defend a cause, noble or not, a greater, higher purpose, far beyond the scope of the average. These were the casualties, those who had rushed in without thought, not those caught up accidentally, beings that were at the wrong place at the wrong time. The true casualties were the ones who should never have been involved, but were present out of their own choices for their own reasons.
Grey Fox looked up slowly, releasing the reminiscence and floating back to his present. His eyes once again settled on Red Wolf seated across from him. His thoughts formed in his mind as if summoned by an invisible force.
“I am but a prisoner of death. Only we can free each other to ascend…” Wolf spoke softly, breaking the monologue of elder Fox, if only for a moment.
“Our pact, taken so long ago.” Fox continued. “The saying that is inscribed upon both our blades as well as in our hearts.” Fox, his hands still forming the circle, started to rise, slowly and smoothly, appearing to levitate to a stand. His robes swayed in the wind, creating an even more majestic image. Red Wolf’s rise had mirrored that of Grey Fox, his luxurious evening robes wrapping around him. His robe mimicked his armour that he wore outside of the room. This was the only room he did not wear armour.
Fox spoke again “Now, in front of you, my adversary, I can finally die. I was taken from the world neither truly alive… nor dead… an undying shadow in the world of lights,” he mused. “ But soon, it will finally end. Living through death has shown me what we are, who we are. We are not tools of our masters, our times, or anyone else! Our names are not as lost as we believe. Fighting was the only thing we seem to be good at, but at least I fought for what I believed in…at the end of the beginning, and now, at the Beginning of the End. I followed the oath that I carved rather then the one set down for me. But that is now behind us.”
The two men stared into each other, the wind slowly picking up, casting a myriad of dancing shapes around the room.
“ That which once was is no longer…we shall begin?” The wind, swirling around faster then before, billowing the robes of Grey Fox, muffling the words of Red Wolf, began to whistle. The candles were quickly diminishing, and with them the light.
“ Yes. At long last, it is done.” A gust blew through the room, and the candles, their wax strewn around them, were extinguished by the winds.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Monday, June 05, 2006
so yes tons happening, into n-game now, as well as ffvii (pc crack) and the blessed bloney money which came out a week or so ago! w00t! yes im tired, must sleep passed out last thrusday so i need my sleep back, ttyall later? too tired to smack myself for that comment or to reach to the backspace key.... its so far away....
Thursday, May 18, 2006
kk, so im experimenting with dfferent layouts and editing and yes, there are some setbacks. i swear to god the original sketches were so much better.. sniff.... anywho, yes this one was don april 30th but got done up tonight. elections tomorow w00t! sleep well another soon i promise...
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Thursday, May 11, 2006
w00t, number two, ive actually written u quite a few but it is quite teh job importing them and fixing them up, im going to try to do it more often, or actually find a site that can host me,that would be good.... anywho, id love any response from those who actually read this thing, many thanks to those few and far betwenn, you are demi-gods, till next, -A
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
So yes, what started out as bored doodling has now become a strip, w00t im actually a part of the disheveld bittered community of web comic artists. definitly influenced by others such as cuanide and happiness, scott pilgrim, pie 2k, megatokyo, me in hats, etc... so many... anywho, yah, so heres number one, i know my physics note book has tons of doodles, so ill see whta i can do about getting those up. cheers, -A
Monday, April 17, 2006
first compagny of the orintal shinigami
first compagny is lokated in the moutain region of the koga mountains, (china ish) head of first is lex, followed by both hikary and josef as secondarys. lex is water element,, and the figure head of the three compagnies. Hikaru has no elemenatl affiliation, but is a shadow user (i have the seal developed, w00t!) much like CC, who was actually taught by CC, while he was traveling through the Orient. josef is water element also, though not as focused, he relies heavily on physical toned,intense speed and skill. his tradmark weapons are throwing knives, his scythe is dormant, unlike the blades of lex, which is a complete blade, which he uses as a main weapon, and hikaru's which is smaller but oddly shaped, more of a flipped katana with a long handle
on Hikaru-Aneki's shadow art and arts/essences in general
CC, who has the highest level of shadow use, is the main school of tha art,
all of the arts rely on forming congnitive thought around channeling the shinigami essence.
to understand any of the arts, we have to look at how there preformed
every form has an energy that is seperate from their physical forms, people (hman that is) have named this energy many things, ex. spirit, essence, soul, life force, mana, chi, chakra, etc... anywho, human essence is a heavy medium, which is why there are so few ho can form their will into tangible feats, these are rare and are usually killed off fairly quicly, through persecution of the public (withcraft)
the essence of shinigami's on the other hand, is a lighter medium, or at least less dense. this allows it to be manipulated more easily.
it is said that in some humans people can "feel" an aura about them, i know that a few martial art teachers ive had have had such auras, this is an overpowering of the essence. an excellant grasp of the essence in humans is aikido, where distributuion of the bodys weight and energy produces staggering results, such as through someone against a wall with a flick of a finger
in shinigami, the same effect happens, but as the medium is more free flowing, it can be channeled more cognitively, and at greater distance form the body
your choice of shadow art works like this: the term shadow is knid of a paradox, as what is really being controlled is the light particles, rather then the lack of light particles. the essence is exerted out of the body to these particles, which are then formed into movement.
this seems very small , and it is, but on a large scale it works like this. Hikaru-Aneki forms seal with hand [ the seals have no actual use by the by, they are simply a reminder of the training and mental state and act as an aid. for this reason some sinigami do not use any seals as they find them pointless as their minds are more adept and no not need the physical link to their memory ] and channels her essence into the desired area. she shes the desired action in her minds eye and "wills", forces her essence, to create said result. hence, Shadow bind (seal point in direction of the person who is being bound) forces the particles of light to wrap around the wrist of the person effected and forces the arms behind their back in an x, and binds the arms until they are releasd
kk, whoa, shall put up more, the more i have to rite, happy bday to di, who turned 16, 71 minutes ago. -A
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
in a place far from this, there lived one who was born into pain
before the child was born, there was a great war, and batlles held the land caaptive at the pinnacle of this war was a great demon, one who came out of the sand of the desert. when the war was ended, and the demon smote(love that word : ) ) its remaining soul and power was sealed within a newborn child, whos mother had died giving him birth with the demon sealed within his body, the child grew up as royalty, as that was his natural heritage, but the demon, far from laying dormant, pushed the boys body and manifested itself in ways that caused the boy... uniqueness
as the demon had been one of sand, and seeing as the boy, and hos city, was located in a mighty desert, his body formed a symbiotic relationship wth the sand. it was habit of the people of the city, to carry gourds of water on their backs, but in the childs gourd, there was not water, but the very sand that he was born upon. this sand became infused with the demons powers that leaked through the seal and became part of the child.
the sand which was held in his gourd, formed a barrier between the child and any threat to the childs body, in essence becoming another apendage, subcouciously controlled. when something was out of reach of teh child, the sand flew from his gourd in a fine trickle to lift the object down to him. such was the childs unity with the sand demon.
unfortunately or fortunately, depending on perspective, being he home of such a demon made the boy an out cast. the child grew up , never having felt pain, seeing as every time somethiing came close to harming his bofy, the sand would protect him. the and followed his will, which as time went on grew hatefull and lonely. any who crossed him, died in mound of sand,of instanly, being slaughterd by materialising arms, made from the ground. even when he was a child, his one wish was to be like any other children, but, excluded as he was, wheever he got close to othr children, bad things usually occured.
one such example happened when he was watching some kids his age (round 7ish) play with a ball in a cliff alleyway. on a particular strong kick, the ball was lodged high up in the rock , with no way of getting it down. much to the cother childrens fear and amazement, the ball was lifted on a cloud of sand and brought down into the hands of the demon child, who handed the ball back to the children. the children though, were scared, and becan to run away. the demon child called and plleaded to teh children not to leave him, but doing so caused the sand to encass the scaredchildren and crush them. such event happen until the boy secluded himself and learned to controll his emotions, though his lonliess got worse as the years went on.
his life was painfull n many wayson his many attempts to comit suicide, he failed continuously as the sand always protected him, no matter how small
he trained , as was his way, to follow the path of his brother and sister, who were both training to be warriors to protect the village. one day, when he got into a fight, which happened quite frequently, considering the number of assassins who had tried to take his life, only to be crushed throttled or slaughtered by the sand. when the pivoting point of this fight came, he slowly,counsiously crushed the life from his adversaries body.
when he formed his hand to a fist and mentaly willed the opponents death, he felt for teh first time in his life what it truly felt to be alive. this then became his goal, knowing that could ot be killed by any means known to him, his purpose, he decided was to feel that feeling as many times as he could, to feel as alive as he could.
in effect, his goal, his purpose in life was to kill all those around him.
he went through his life, slaghtering those who opposed him , acting as a warrior for his city and tribe, until such a day came when all the warriors from his city and teh neighbouring cities, gathered together for a grand competition and chance for promotion within the warrior ranks. while the ranks held little value to him, he saw it as an excellant opertunity to coninuty with his lifes goal...
upon going to the mass competition, and killing a dozen or so people, he came to the final round robin event, which were warrior against warrior battle. needless to say, much blood wa spilt. his first oponent, was another young warrior who moved like no other he had seen. he had no visable skills with weaponry or elemental or anything else. all his abilities were focused on physical attacks with his body, and his speed. for the first time in his life, he was struck and felt pain for teh sand, phenomonaly fast as it was, was not able to keep up with teh rapid attacks of the young man. eventually, as all things must, the fight eneded with the fast warrior sacrificing his body for a killing stroke, which was absorbed by the sand. his body,like so many bofre him, was partially crushed and killed.
the child of the sand then faced a second oponent, who had a power like no other, such was his focuse that he could concentrate his being, his energy, into the palm of his hand, electricfying to the pooint that what ever was struck by this charged hand, was instantly killed. once again, a fight of epic proportions occured, finally breaking out of teh arena and into a close forest, where a chase and finally, a confrontation resulted. this time though, upon the turning point of teh battle, the sand demon reptured part of the seal that restrained him within the childs body, and transformed half of him into a monstrous sand monster, filled with the same desire to kill, backed by the same power to do so.
the now partially emerged sand demon/child subdued his second opponent, and would have killed him, if not for his third, and final adversary joining the fray, and saving the second.
The Sand demon now transformed the child to a near full power source, becoming incredibly monstrus and powerfull. but, while the other opponents had been strong through their abilities, this last had another kind of strength. the final adversary, he also had a demon sealed withinn him, a different demon, a demon of fire from a different realm.as such, when they fought, their demons powered their desires. the sand demon, the urge to kill for life. teh fire demon, the passion to protect those he cared about, namley the child of the snd's second opponent(who was his close friend) and a third warrior who had breifly fought against the sand demon, who was in danger of death, though seperate from the fight.
now , when both demons fought, they unleashed their full destructive foces against each, and incredibly, though both inner demons were realsed as manifestation, the child of teh sand, and teh demon within him, were defeated. while the seemingly broken child lay on the ground, he looked over at his opponent, who was also, amazingly, crumpled on the ground
after a few momments of silence, the fire warrior, slowly dragged himself(literally) over to the other fallen one. there he told him, that, it was not his strength that let him beat him, nor his skill, but because he knew what the sand child felt. he too had been isolated, abanded and sacrificed for his villages safety. and his village had treated him with contempt and ignored him just as with teh other. but unlike the sand child, when he was placed in his warriortraining group, he became close to the other two people, and had come to care about them. these peple rescured him from lonliness, and for that he was stronger.
this short conversation was an epiphamy for the child of teh sand, who when he was picked up momments later by by his own teammates, his brother and sister, made a new vow, found a new purpose, which was to protect his people, his home, with his life and his all, as the child of teh fire demon had done . He went on to become KazeKage(head leader) of his city.
His name was Gaara of the Sand.
Everyday, millions of children march to school with drudgery and resistance. As young children, they go in open-hearted and free -- at night, they imagine that their tiny hands can reach up and touch the birds. The entire world is a new place and the fascination of beauty never subsides. But as older adolescents leaving their high school, they go close-minded and bondaged -- at night, they drink themselves into passing out and talk about the most popular thing to come, under obligation. The boys worry about their sexual conquests. The girls worry about their sexual appearance. Both worry about being social in a society that has made a weakness of kindness and an insult of emotion. Such a great change occurs between those who enter school and those who leave it.
Just think of the sheer idiocy of compulsary education. We threaten these children with imprisonment if they do not appear in class. Once in class, they spend their time either sleeping or completing tasks that are completely irrelevant to them. By giving them no option in their schooling, what have we taught them? The first lesson they learn is to detest learning, to hold unbridled sympathy for education. Take any man, put him in chains, and force him to recite poetry, or force him to play an instrument, or force him to farm the land -- and once he becomes a free man, do you think he will want to engage in that activity that was forced upon him? The scars on a slaves hands from working the fields, the memories of abuse of a house servant; given the right to do as they wish in the world, is it likely to think that they will return to that work which they were forced to do? And then consider schools. We force children to sit and overfeed them erroneous facts, faulty logic, damaged reasoning, concealed under the guise of "schooling." Once the mental faculties of these children are damaged, their heart grows an animosity towards learning, towards books, towards facts and knowledge. It is the greatest folly to make children hate learning, and the greatest danger to a real, living Democracy in any nation.
Because when the Red Sox win a baseball game, five universities in the state of Massachussetts riot. But when the United States regime supports a South American dictator known for slaughtering his own people, it's a whisper lost in the wind.
Our ignorance is their power.
Real knowledge is acquired by learning what interests you, through reading, investigation, practice, or any other desirable method. To become intelligent, you must engage in activity with the idea that are you learning because you want to, because knowledge is a goal. The path to conformity varies greatly from this. First, you engage in nothing, but allow cultural standards and social obligations to control you. Second, the idea of learning is to memorize random, perhaps unrelated and blatant facts -- true or untrue -- so that they may be recited upon command. Third, the goal is not knowledge, but a passing grade; they learn to for the sake of knowledge, but rather for the sake of social acceptance.
Take two children. Give the first freedom and liberty, give him a wealth of books and movies, give him teachers to aid him upon his request and a place that encourages art, creativity, and independence. Then take away the freedom and liberty of the second, require his presence in a classroom in front of a teacher, threaten him with a jail sentence if he does not go to his school. Give each of them ten or fifteen years, and check the development of each of them after this amount of time. The only forced to endure slavery may be able to stand in a lecture hall and he might be able to say to you, "George Washington was born in 1732 and died in 1799. In 1776, the Revolutionary War began where he acted as general. In 1783, it ended. In 1789, he was elected president a first time, and in 1792, he was elected president a second time." You are given dates and events, surely, it is true history. But take the child who was given freedom to do as he pleased, and he might be able to stand in a lecture hall and tell you, "In the sixteenth century, in Europe, a Spanish physician by the name of Michael Servetus was convicted of heresy by the Roman Catholic Church. Fleeing from his oppressors, he made it to Geneva, where the vindictive John Calvin had absolute authority. In earlier years, Servetus expressed his doubt on Calvin's protestant religion. Once captured by the authorities, Servetus was burned to death at the orders of John Calvin in 1533. They had him wear a hat of sulphur and used slow-burning wood, that the crowd could listen to screams for mercy for the duration of a half hour. One year after the death of this man, Calvin published a list of insults of his former enemy."
Be a rebel. Because being a conformist means admitting that the parts of you that matter are already dead.
But if that's the case, what does matter? The emotions that run rampant through our head, the thoughts that we tumble and toss over in our minds constantly -- sexual fantasies to memories of our friends and family, thoughts and ideas about our future, wishes and desires for our current life with those who are close to us. The idea of a living freedom, knowing that what you wish to do believe with your mind is unrestricted and what you wish to do with your body, so long as you harm none, is unlimited. Life matters to us because we make it matter; if we never told a lover we would miss them upon our departure for a long voyage, if we never told a family member that we dream of a time when oppression ended, if we never wrote a poem and hoped to give it to a friend whose face we haven't seen in years -- if we never cared about life, then life wouldn't matter. What matters is what we make matter. So in a few years, all the kids who graduate from high school will know that their grades never mattered, because even though so young, they already know that it won't be the grades they got that they think about upon their death bed.
Twenty years ago the textbooks used in history class just began to cover some of the issues of the four hundred years of oppression of the African race in this country.
Children who are forced into a school and forced to complete erroneous assignments learn only one thing: to hate education. I clearly demonstrated this truth earlier, but there is more to be learned from it. Take a slave. It could be a slave from any society, whether an African in colonial America or a Plebeian in the Roman Empire. For the entirety of their life, they labor. Their sweat, their tears, their blood, the biproducts of their toil seep into the ground and their garments. All they produce goes to the one who did not labor (and alas, our modern Capitalist system has managed to recreate these conditions). Inside every slave, there will be a growing hatred of their activity as a servant, a farmer, a manufacturer -- they will learn to hate what has been forced upon them without their consent. But inside some of them, there will be the kindling of hope for a dream. One day, they will hope to produce for themselves, knowing that what their hands reap will be what fills their stomach, and not the stomach belonging to idle hands. So, too, it is with our compulsary education. The more we are forced into schools and our minds filled with useless facts, the stronger our thirst grows for real education, for real knowledge. Few are like this, but we exist. Others simply remain politically and emotionally sedated, as the focus of their mind is the next test or the next prom, and not children enslaved in southeast asia or the meaning of life.
To every student who must endure the excuse of an education system that we have, I can only offer these words of hope... Educate yourself, not with school teachers, but with the books they wanted to ban. Teach yourself, learn, grow, and develop. Learn that the greatest asset education can offer is that of independence.
"If the teacher happens to be a man of sense, it must be an unpleasant thing to him to be conscious, while he is lecturing his students, that he is either speaking or reading nonsense, or what is very little better than nonsense.
"The discipline of colleges and universities is in general contrived, not for the benefit of the students, but for the interest, or more properly speaking, for the ease of the masters. Its object is, in all cases, to maintain the authority of the master, and whether he neglects or performs his duty, to oblige the students in all cases to behave to him, as if he performed it with the greatest diligence and ability. It seems to presume perfect wisdom and virtue in the one order, and the greatest weakness and folly in the other."
-- Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations, Book 5, Chapter I, Part 3, Article II.
Life matters to us because we make it matter. Be a rebel.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
in ways of my crmpling to things, diana finaly did what many have tried to do over the last few years, and i caved and got gmail and the messenger thing for it. i like it better then msn, as it doesnt killthe pc im using as much, plus its a lot simpler. i misss my display pic though..... but yeah, more people should come join me, Atethrie@gmail.com tis a hoot, the cutomisible busy
in bad news, i have tests which are killing me, chem yesterday, math tomorow, and yeah, its annoying. i might be doing the skills canda compitition with jozef,in animation, but we shall see. im bitter at the lack of sales at my shop, but im blaming that on my lack of advertising, something i need to deal with soon.
also, must deal with camp...yes...im thinking this may be my last year, considering how i should earn ome money and all for food during university...
in the othr parts of the world, i am making tons aof progress on my book, which, though originally intened as a linking between 6 seperate worlds and chars, has morphed ito abetter story revolving shinigami (death gods for those who dont know there japanese or manga). Ive built up quite a bit of text (Bout 50 pages of scrawsl and 20 mins of recorded story) as well as some char design. so far ve got the main guy Atethrie (yes im basing the name of him on mine, why the hell not) Dom, his teacher/turner/whatever (based on dom, so it works out well enough. other shinigami ive mapped include Hail, Bear, Gabe, and CC. im basing gabe odd di, but im not sure who to base on jozef, as hes not really a guy to slot to a character. anywho, tons of fun there, i still have yet to write the sex scene , which im not sure why... meh, itll come when it does, no pun intended. i have a feeling im going to be called to fodd shortly so yeah... im so going to see if i can incorperate some kind of ranting about freedom into my book, as v for vendetta has an awsoem quote sin it, which i really like, though im thinking of mixing them with some of teh ones from batman begins, as they seem to have some sharing of ideals
other then that, im not sure, i really like di, and am definitly going to ask her out again, if only becca would stop houndingme, but hey, isnt that what friends do? hmmmm, who knows, had an awsoem day off, no iit test for me,so i spent the day looking for a cigar shop with jozef, as we needed a high res image for animation. no luck, but had a great day anyway.
kk, so ive gone on for a long time, with no particular reason, so go visit the EC shop and ill end it with a quote from mine and josef talk today. skallebuskallada,
"Hows this for a theory: you know how when you die, you have a really detailed flashback of your entire life? what your living now, is the flashback. thats why things seem predetermined, thats why theres fate, youve already lived it, you ve met the people and lived the life. now your just seeing it again."- Jozef
Saturday, March 18, 2006
first things first, many apologies that i havent been able to update this in ages, but ive been extrememly busy with this , that, and the other ( you know the one im talking about : p ) ive been doing tons lately, trying to get out of the house and away fom my past which has slightly worked. ive got mountains of work, as always, but other as well. im actually going eally strong through my book and might actually post some, of it, if i ever get around to typing it up.
*news* The erotica fic i promised a few people a while ago is actually really close to completion, i found a draft in the back of my BlackBook the other day and it doesnt look to bad, though i want to go into more detail in a few parts. *
on another fun note, my march break wa rather awsome with my going to new york with my dad. twas tons of fun and exhausting. did anyone know that a street corner can become tighter packed then a mosh pit? st. patricks day has fun to walk aroudn the city during, tons and tons of drunken people and many opportunites, damn my *&%&^# code.
kk, im tored and needing to to some work later so im going off, hopefully ill put something else up soon, skallebuskallada,
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Many thanks Brandy, so many memories of classes... ckl - A
#1) Hastily unlock the door to the building with the master key (he trusts me eh? :D ) before placing the key back into your pocket.
#2) Scramble down the stairs and hope to God that you are not late for the first class.
#3) Kick off your shoes and shove them carelessly onto the rack.
#4) Open the flap to the electricity box, flick on the lights, then push it back securely so that no kid plays with the lighting while you teach.
#5) Trudge to the change room as quickly as possible so that you look prepared and ready to teach when the parents finally do arrive.
#6) Twist in your locker combination, bang on the door repeatedly when the locker fails to open the first time, then try again when you regain your patience.
#7) When the lock has finally released sigh heavily as you ditch your street clothes in the back of the metal encasing and put on your “gie” a.k.a. karate uniform.
#8) Laugh triumphantly as you emerge from the change room and take a quick glance at your watch, seeing that you have five minutes to spare and no one has arrived yet.
#9) Slump in the chair behind the office and pick up an old dirty magazine to read entitled “The Martial Arts Extreme”.
#10) 15 minutes later begin to worry why nobody showed up for the first class.
#11) Realize that it’s Sunday today, and that there aren’t any classes.
#12) Repeat steps one to nine the very next day, this time actually coming when you are really needed.
Monday, February 20, 2006
I am Exit 9.
I am Exit 9. I am fabled and ancient, spanning three great stories, and many legends. I am both famous and infamous, for I house right and wrong. My red seal identifies me, though it is not what it used to be, shining bright and red. Many things have taken place within me, not all good, nor not all bad. I have hidden and protected some, while provided sanctuary to others. Unfortunately, some see me as other parts of the school, some of which who are in as much disrepair as I am. The legends that speak of me are as old as my bricks. My doors lock to some and open to others, though my walls always hear. Some of the things that happen within me, on my steps and against my walls, I do not like, though other things I do. Teachers have memories of me, students have gossip about me, but I remain, here, braced against a wall of heat and a wall of cold, digging into the ground, and then rising into the sky. I am bitter at the lack of care that people have presented me, but I am patient. More new faces, new shoes, new fluids, new clothing, new feelings, new scents, new bodies, new people…they always enter within me. Some desperately, some ignoring, only to ask later where I am. I am the one that remembers all, delighting in both virtuous and scandalous. And though few believe it, most of the tales told about me are true. I am Exit 9….
Monday, February 06, 2006
This is the story I wrote for english class.... I can write but i cant edded for shit so can u do it for me cus ur very good at that apprently... lol =] its due like next friday buh i wanted to do this assignment so its done 1 week early. oooo and u no the answer to the riddle? the anything to the riddle is nothing. is today the last day of exams for u?b4 i was in liek a pissed at the world kind of mood now im feeling better so i wanted to email some more lol ok if i keep going on ill bore u soo please edded this thx =] by the way... i used the names of friends so sorry if i spelled ur last name wrong luv frum moi - AFriend
Since Raine was 12, she's had depression. But no one ever noticed, she never told, and she never showed it, it was a secret she kept between her and her diary. Raine has posted in her diary since her depression started, sometimes every day, sometimes in 7-day periods, she always ended up back to her diary to let her only friend know everything that's happening. She also has another hidden secret that no one will ever know, except her diary, during the summer it ends, but it might start again.
Monday, August 21st 1989
Oh my dear Diary, I'm sorry for not entering for so long, this summer has kept me busy, and I have met a boy. Such a sweet, loveable boy. Matt be his name. He is so charming! Oh Diary, if only you were a real person, I would show you him. We met on the beach, he lay there on the sand, staring out to the beach waters, soaking up the sun on his bare, tanned chest, his black hair spread half on his towel, half in the sand, his eyes were closed, and he lay so motionless. He looked like a dead angel, and a stunning one with that. I could not bare myself, I needed his attention somehow. So diary, I stripped out of my sundress, socks, shoes, down to my bathing suit. I headed down to the beach, making sure to walk past him, I made it so I accidentally kicked sand on to him, and then he sat up quickly to brush the sand off, I bent down and apologized profusely, smiling as I gazed in to his pretty soft blue eyes, oh Diary! If only you could see them! I couldn't help but wear this stupid smile; I stopped apologizing and just stared. I don't know what he was thinking, but he was staring back at me, smiling at me. I apologized again, and went to stand, but he grabbed my hand, oh diary, his skin was so soft, he told me it was okay, and asked me my name. That is how we met, diary. I am sorry for leaving you, I'll post in more often, I promise. I wrote a million poems for Matt. He is so amazing, I could not live without him, I seriously don't think I could, I love him so much. Till next time, Diary, thank you for listening.
Love you xoxox. -Raine
Monday, September 4th 1989
Dear Diary, I'm sorry, I didn't write, again, I'm sorry. I wish you were alive; I could use a hug and some tissues. Diary, he left me, he said he thought we were better as friends. He dumped me diary! On the first day of school too! I can't stop crying diary, I need him, and I love him so much. Now you're the only one I've got. Only you and Claire. But she'll leave me soon too, and I'll have just you, oh Diary, I can't stop thinking negative. Remember how I was like this last year? Then Matt took all the pain away, but now he's gone Diary! I can't do this! Diary, this is worse then before, I'm more messed up, now that I really am down to one friend, because Katie moved away. I can't cope, this is too hard. I don't want to go back to old habits, diary. It's 11:45pm, he dumped he exactly 8 hours ago. I didn't write in here sooner, because I was too shaky and hysterical. I loved him so much diary. This year for science I have Mr.Clarke, I hate him, and do you remember me telling you about him last year? He's horrible. My homeroom teacher is Mr. Steiner, he's cool. I hope this year is better then last year. I hope I feel better soon, I hate crying. I'm going to bed, to try to sleep. I love you diary, thank you for listening.
Friday, September 8th 1989.
Dear Diary, I was right! Sharon's gone! I'm all alone! Just you and me, and you're just paper that I write on, so what does it matter? Oh this is so awesome. That's sarcasm if you didn't realize. Soon enough I'll be back to old habits. I see Matt at school and he smiles and I cry. Claire accused me of lying to her; I bet she really just wanted to get rid of me so I wouldn't make her unpopular. Same with Matt, so I wouldn't cramp his style. I hate my life diary, I hate me. I bet if you were a real person you would leave me too. I hate school, I've already gotten an assignment in English, but its easy, just a poem. You know I love poetry. I've written a lot now. Back to my old style, you know the one I'm talking about. Well it's 12; I should go to bed soon. Probably won't sleep though, haven't slept properly for a week. Good night Diary, thank you, I love you
Thursday, September 14th 1989
Dear Diary, Oh diary, I'm so lost and so hurt, I have no friends, the school hates me, everyone doesn't want to be my friend, they all give me dirty looks and the popular girls and boys laugh and make fun of me. Matt and Claire included. I cannot take this diary, I need someone. Everyday I sit in the corner of the long hallway, sometimes reading, others just thinking, but someone always walks by and laughs at me because I have no friends. I want Katie to come back, I want Matt to love me again, he made it so easy Diary, he made me so happy. It was only a month or so, but it was the best of my life, and you could tell, couldn't you diary? Oh yeah, I got an A on my poem, I wrote it about Matt. The teacher said I was a very good writer, and he hoped to see more from me. I hope I never lose you diary.. You're all I've got diary, I hope you don't leave me. If you ever run empty, I'll get another just like you, I'm going to go read some, diary, good night, I love you
xoxox. Here's a poem. -Raine
Why do I get up in the morning?
I know what will happen today,
I'll just regret it all over again,
It'll be the same as yesterday.
I'll hide from the world at recess,
Hug myself during lunch time,
Try to escape all the names,
And try to come out feeling fine.
I'll come home with tears inside,
Hide in my room and let them run,
Staining my white pillow case,
Because the kids at school have won.
I try to isolate myself from them,
But their words are just too strong,
Breaking through my stone walls,
Making it so hard to carry on.
I let them tear my heart to shreds,
I believe in what they all say,
And I regret it with my tears each night,
So why should I get up today?
Days pass, October comes. Raine still has posted in her diary, with almost the same information, how she gets picked on, and she has to hide her pain from the world, how she misses Matt, Claire, Katie, and having a friend in general. School stresses her out with sudden assignments and pop-up projects. She has trouble focusing in class, her habits get worse, and her poems become more depressing. Shethe pain in her eyes; she hides it from and still smiles at her family, and hides the pain in her eyes. She hides from everyone, except her diary, which is filled with poems and entries of her life and pain.
Tuesday, October 10th 1989
Dear Diary, I got suspended. I have an in-school suspension for tomorrow. Want to know why? It's really stupid. Because Mr. Nazario said I couldn't wear my sweater during gym class, but I would never wear just my t-shirt, you know why. So he argues and tells me to take it off, but I wouldn't, so he wrote me up, and I got an in-school suspension. I don't care though, if I don't want to take my sweater off, I'm not going to. The whole class laughed at me though, I was red in the face; I was so angry and embarrassed at the same time. I just hope it doesn't spread around the school and when Matt and Claire hear they'll be laughing at me so hard, and making fun of me all year. I hate school, I hate life, everyone is so mean? It's only October and I already want to drop out and go run away and die. I want to move away, maybe go live with Katie. She would never hurt me. I'm going to bed; it's 1:34am. Love you diary, thank you for listening
Friday, October 13th 1989
Dear Diary, Friday the 13th, un-luck day, how true! Today at lunch I was sitting in my corner, writing in my notebook (poems of course) and then Claire and her group of friends came up to me, and started calling me names, and then they looked at my notebook and asked what I was doing, called me some more names, and then took it from me, after a struggle, I screamed at them but they ran off, I chased them and I told the duty but she didn't do anything, I ran out the front doors and walked the hour home. That's why I'm here now. Oh my God, I'm doomed. I hate life, I can't take this anymore diary, I want to end it soon. It's only 2:01pm; no one will be home for about 45 minutes, how long do you think it takes to bleed to death? What the hell is wrong with me?! I'm asking a piece of paper that I'M writing on, how long it would take to die. I must be insane. Absolutely LOSING MY MIND! Goods bye diary, I hope it's for life. Maybe if you're really a person, you'll meet me in Heaven. Unless I go to Hell for sinning. Either way, good bye. Love you, thank you for everything, good bye
xoxox. -Raine No More
Sunday, October 15th 1989
Dear Diary,Obviously since I'm writing again, my plan failed. I was so close, I was weak, and sleepy, everything was getting dark, like they explain in movies and books but Mom came home I'm screwed over, they want to send me to an institute and get a therapist, but I won't. If I go anywhere's, I'm taking you, I love you diary, got to go xoxox. -Raine
Sunday, October 22nd 1989
Dear Diary, It's been decided. I have to go to an institute, Green Day Institution. I stay there until I improve. I get to bring you, but I won't be able to write a lot. The whole school knows now, apparently the reason my mom was coming home early on the 13th was because the school called telling her I ran away, and Claire and them told the principle about my notebook. I'm scared, I don't think I can cope without you and my habit diary, I love you. I wish you were real, wish you could hug me. I wish Matt loved me. I still love him, though he hurts me. I haven't gone to school all week, I am sick, a little; I think it's from stress. I haven'twritten because mom has been watching me and I didn't want her to take you from me. I'm leaving on Tuesday for the institute. =( I love you, I'll write more tomorrow, I need sleep. Good night
Monday, October 23rd 1989
Dear diary, I'm scared now, I don't want to go. Everyone knows, my family keeps calling and being sympathetic and some won't call at all, apparently my cousin is ashamed, and doesn't want to ever speak to me again. I wish no one ever found out. I wish I died. I hate this. I hate everything. Why couldn't Matt love me? Everything would be okay if Matt just loved me. And if Claire never left, and if Katie never moved away. I needed them, they hurt me so bad diary.I told my mom everything last night, about everyone being mean and leaving me, and I cried, and she cried and hugged me, we hugged for like, 10 minutes. I love her, she said she was sorry she was never there for me really. I feel bad for hurting everyone. I only meant to hurt myself. I have to go, it's almost supper time and mom is going to take me down to the institute tonight to show me around, then we go there in the morning. I'll write as soon as possible diary, I love you
xoxox. Thank you for everything. -Raine
Raine posted in her diary once a week, talking about the institute and the people around her, about her improvements, how it was really slow, but still progressing. She came home for all holidays.
Wednesday, December 6th 1989
Dear diary, This will be my last entry from the institute. All my trainers say that I have improved very well, and I agree myself looking back at these pages I can tell that I am so much better. I look into mirrors and smile, rather then wishing I could smash it. I haven't written a poem, but if I were to, it would be something happy, I can tell. I'm glad that I am getting better. Mom says she can't wait till I get home. I leave on the 17th, I'm so excited. I want to see my family again, they visited in November, and Mom called me on a week or so ago. Diary, I'm getting better, I never thought I would! I want to thank you because you helped me through it all diary, I love you, thank you so much. There is only one more page left in you diary, and I will fill it when I get home with my last message, I love you, thank you for everything
Dear diary, This is the last page in this diary, and the last day of my depression. This diary will be nothing but a memory of something in my past. Thank you for being the only friend, and the best one. Even if you are only paper, you are the best. I love you so much, thank you for helping me survive my depression. I am done at the institute, but still see a therapist every week, I have made some new friends, and I'm going to a new school. Sharon and Nick both called me and apologized, and even a few people from school that pick on me. I got some get-well cards and a welcome home party. Katie and her family are here for Christmas. Everything is good, and it always will be. Thank you again diary, I love you
I Thought. I thought I'd never make it,That I was doomed for life,I thought life was too hard,That I would need the knife. But as the tears stop pouring,I stare straight at my mirror,I smile at myself, thinking,I'm very glad that I am her. Maybe I have scars on me,But now they are memories,And I have my old diary,The friend that set me free. I realize now, it's all okay, My friends do really care,I have support from many,And a family that is there. I thought I'd never make it,That depression was now me,I thought wouldn't be okay,
But now I'm forever happy.
By: Raine Martin, 15
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Hanging from a hollow tree,
What's the Point?
What's the point of trying,
When all you do is wrong?
What's the point of crying,
When no one hears your song?
What's the point of love,
When nothing goes your way?
What's the point of effort,
When you can't take another day?
What's the point of memories?
They all will fade away,
What's the point of sensitivity?
You'll just get called gay...
What's the point of happiness?
It lasts only a short time,
What's the point of sadness?
It just ruins your life.
What's the point of seeing?
When everything's a lie?
What's the point of believing?
When all you ask is why?
What's the point of life?
Filled with pain and strife,
And what's the point of me?
Filled with sadness and misery.
Why is school as it is? Are we too ignorant as a mass to learn by living, rather then reading about life? Why can’t I go live of the land to learn what nature is and how the earth works? Why do I need to take bio, geo and home ec if I can go live in the wilderness and do the same, infinitely better and have a good time that truly challenges me?
Why must I be forced to listen how to draw a line that connects to another to make a picture that someone sees as beautiful? Can I not look at the world, mimic what I love and try to reproduce it as I see fit? Why do I need something like art class to tell me what I like?
Why should I be forced to listen and waste my time and life to things that will serve me never? Will waiting for a piece of paper that tries to explain myself to me be a productive use of my life? Will listening to someone who knows more try and conform me to a class, career, political viewpoint, will that make me better then I would be if I simply spent some time looking at myself? Am I not good and smart enough to be the judge of what’s best for my interests?
Will living the life you’ve set down before me make you happy? Will my becoming another statistic in your eyes please you? Can I then do what I want with my life? No? I have to follow rules that do nothing? That grinds away at the sanity that was? Does being the only sane one in a crazy world make you twisted and warped? Yes? Society has failed to tolerate me, and I have failed to tolerate society.
I am no consumer, I am not the one you are looking for, I will not by the things around me, momentary bliss that turns to useless junk. I will not be controlled by your marketing. You think people like me; we think we want the whole world? If you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't. May I never be content. May I never be complete. May I never be perfect. May I never buy what you sell. May I live how I see fit.
I buy the thing you tell me to. You say I should tell myself, this is the last thing you'll ever need in your life, no matter what else goes wrong, you've got the thing issue handled. Then the right set of clothes. Then the right home. The job. The life. You tell me, this is how you’re supposed to live; this is what your life is about, the purpose, to be a consumer in the gears of the world, a world that shows no mercy, kindness, memory or caring.
But I will not buy what you say to, I have Lived. I have seen how good this life of mine can be. I have watched the wave of people go past as I watch from my perch on the rock. The river of the damned, the people of the masses that go through life, living as if tomorrow will come. They may be long gone but the day will rise. Yes, the day will rise, but the sun will have forgotten your shadow, the earth will have rejected you being, you will fall and never pick yourself up. But I shall not. I shall live each as if it were my last. You think I am insane, messed in the head? I am sane enough to know you are not always my friend. You are there when it suits you, but not when I need you the most. But I live. I am me. Not the word, I am me.
And you shall never see, or hear or feel another like me.
I am the one you seek. You, the master of propaganda and media. But why me? I am not out to harm you. I am not out to be your adversary; it is neither my will nor purpose. I wish to live my life to the fullest. Every joy and bliss, every pain and torment. My scars show my life for what it is, not what a preacher spouts to console people who thought they knew me. But still, why do you hate me so? How have I earned your eternal wrath?
Ahh. The clouds part. You seek order out of the chaotic beauty. If you could, you would digitize the sunset to move it to where and when, at your convenience. That is why you pursue me. I am a light in your Black ordered world. I am what you hide from. I see the World as part of me. I embrace your Hell as my Heaven. I as the candle flame you try to blow out. And you name me so. I am the Adversary from the South, the fire ever lasting. I am the Morning Star from the East, whose light fills the air. I am the Independent Earth of the North, ever without master. I am the Deep Sea of the West, the great serpent you try to fish, only to destroy yourselves. You have named me such, and so I am. You call me a Heretic of Society. I merely live in your world and my own.
This is why you must condemn me. You do not understand my Way. You fear me, what I might do, what I represent. You shall not rest until you have purged the Change from your system, by any means necessary.
I do not fear your persecution, but what I might not accomplish with your interference. I am afraid of myself, the power inside, the confidence around, the urge and will to do great things. This is why I bound myself. That is why I refrain from announcing my message and my Way to the world, which is why I try to become a shadow in the crowd. But I am neither a shadow nor the crowd. If I choose to, I can become a wraith; one of those who meld the world to their whim, as they know law that you set is corrupt. It is now decadent, filled with loopholes and roundabouts to allow yourselves the joys you have denounced.
It is unfortunate for you that I will not bend to your will easily.
Numb my legs,
Bind my arms,
It will never
Do me harm.
Drug my mind,
Blind my sight,
It will never
End the fight.
Twist and warp,
Till I am tamed,
But what you seek,
Shall not be gained.
You battle to have
My life retaught
You will never
Straighten my thought
Carve my body,
Crack the stone,
I am whole,
I will fight,
Until death apart,
For I will never
Loose my heart.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Mysteries of Earthbound
Giygas is one of the most mysterious and least-mentioned characters in all of EarthBound, but he also plays one of the biggest roles. Pokey, the devil's advocate, takes the spotlight and does most of the dirty work. So what do we know about Giygas for fact? Here are a few things:
· Giygas is called the 'universal cosmic destroyer'. From this we can assume that he's taken over / destroyed other planets besides Earth.
· Giygas has been around and has waged war on the Earth before. We know this because of the text inscribed on the heiroglyphs: "To fight against the invaders, we built this pyramid fortress. However, our efforts were futile, and we lost. Nonetheless, our pyramid was protected by the gods of Scaraba. The invaders will be reborn every millennium and will attack again. Even now, the invaders hide beyond time and space and build their evil stronghold. A place out of time is beyond the Dark, and is even further beyond the Lost Underworld." Thanks to email@example.com for reminding me of this quote.
· He can change forms, and can manipulate things (like human beings and animals) to act like he wants them to. He's got a fleet of other monsters, minions, and robots (like the Starmen) at his disposal.
· He can't be physically beaten. By this I mean that you couldn't beat him with a bat and kill him, unless you had a LOT of time on your hands and even more food :) As EarthBound shows us, Giygas could only be beaten by the power of Paula's and many other people's prayers.
So this is all we know for sure about Giygas. Here are a few things that are generally assumed about Giygas, but we can't really prove:
Giygas is somehow controlling Pokey. There are lots of sub-ideas to this:
-Giygas is simply controlling Pokey's mind. This may or may not be true. One could say that Giygas couldn't be controlling Pokey because, once Giygas was destroyed, Pokey remained evil. To argue that, we could say that Giygas's evil influence over Pokey was so great that Pokey went beyond the point of no return. So he couldn't simply revert back to his normal self after Giygas was destroyed.
-Giygas isn't controlling Pokey's mind, he has totally replaced Pokey's former self with an evil consciousness. I suppose this is possible, but I like the first theory better.
-Giygas has totally switched places with Pokey. This is an excellent theory, but I can't remember who presented it to me. Anyways, here's the idea: At some point in the game, Giygas transferred himself to Pokey's body, and transferred Pokey's consciousness to the form that Ness battles at the end of the game. This may sound strange and rather unfounded, but if you remember during the final battle, Giygas repeatedly calls Ness's name and does other strange things that you wouldn't associate with a planet-destroying alien. This shows that Pokey may have been trying to alert Ness to the fact that Giygas was actually in Pokey's body. The thing that makes this theory so good is that, if he was really in Pokey's body, Giygas escaped to another universe, making a sequel very possible :)
· Giygas is the same alien that appeared in EarthBound Zero / Mother. Here's an opinion from EBounding about the possibility that 'Giegue' and 'Giygas' are the same alien, with a poorly translated name:
· The main connection is in Mother 1. Giygas kidnapped Ness's great grandparents, George and Maria. When they were kidnapped, Maria began to love a certain alien (Giygas), but he hated her song for some reason...meanwhile, George stole "vital information" from the aliens. This was the study of PSI. I guess George fled somehow, but either his wife didn't make it, or she wanted to stay with Giygas. Well, I guess once the aliens realized that the information about PSI was stolen from them, and was being used by George, they got angry. Therefore, they probably sent Maria to Magicant (it represents her love, that Ness is able to access). However, George continued his study on PSI so his descendants would know it, because he knew that Giygas would be after the descendants. He also built a robot named EVE to protect his descendent. When the aliens arrive back at Earth 80 years later, they begin to wreak havoc by altering the minds of people, and abducting and killing parents. Finally, Ness and his friends cause Giygas to retreat. But he comes back for revenge in 199X. That's mainly why he didn't play that big of a role in EarthBound, because he already did a lot of destruction last time. And Giygas' (and his nation's) attempt last time was to just destroy Ness, and use the abducted people as hostages. But in EarthBound, I think he was more power crazed for the entire world.
There is also the 'Apple of Enlightenment', which predicts the outcome of the final battle before it happens. We don't know what this apple thing is, since its only mentioned a few times in the game (thanks to BriCkrOad for sending me a few more and getting the actual texts):
-The Starman Deluxe
"You’re much stronger *whirrr* than our intelligence indicated…We were not *beep* prepared for that eventuality…The prophecy from the *click* Apple of Enlightenment may be true…but you must not *whirrr* underestimate us."
"Giygas’ goal is to destroy you. Listen carefully! Everything in the universe could be destroyed at the hands of Giygas. But he and his followers are also in trouble. The Apple of Enlightenment has foretold that Giygas’ attempt will fail. It is because of the existence of a boy named Ness.""…That’s me!""Listen. Free your mind and KNOW what you must do! Your destiny has already been decided.""You…I…where should we go?" "You know deep within the reaches of your mind…""S…Sat…Saturn…Saturn Valley…""Yes…Go to the valley where the Mr. Saturn live…You’ll get something new there. Soon, Magicant will be no more. We must be quick!" "Ness really heard his own voice. Go to Saturn Valley! Go to Saturn Valley now!"
-The Final Battle
Pokey says that "...the Apple of Enlightenment has already made a prediction…But I won’t let what the Apple of Enlightenment predicted take place..." and "The Apple of Enlightenment couldn't predict this."
Apparently, this 'Apple of Enlightenment' has predicted that Ness and his friends win the battle. Of course they do, so the Apple of Enlightenment can't simply be another name for Giygas, because Giygas wouldn't predict his own destruction. Is it possible we'll see the return of the Apple of Enlightenment along with the return of Pokey in the upcoming EarthBound? Possibly the return of Giygas, assuming the theory of Giygas switching places with Pokey is true?
Here are some opinions that have been mailed in.
Dr. Andonuts - firstname.lastname@example.org
My friend Steve and I think that Giygas cast shyness over the tenda because Giygas didn't want them to tell Ness and co. about him or the AOE, because they may have found out secret information on him and the AOE. Giygas sent the Starman Deluxe to capture innocent civilians and the Apple Kid because he had the shyness book, and for some weird apparent reason, Giygas didn't want the Tendas to speak or let Ness and co. to the lost underworld. We don't think Giygas would let them make the sound stone dissapear and make Ness more powerful, powerful enough to beat Giygas and bring peace to the world for now...
Kevin - Alert32@aol.com
The AoE (Apple of Enlightment) is not a thing nor a legend passed down from generation to generation. The AoE is an Idea. The AoE has much to do with Mother 1. It was Passed from the first game to the second. If in fact Giegue is Giygas the AoE was started with the creation of Giegue. When Giegue was born to it's alien parents, it was not the cosmic destroyer... Or it didn't know it was. AoE (the idea) was created and predicted to George warning him. Thus George became the Apple of Enlightment. We all understand why "Enlightment" is used. Enlightment is a term meaning higher than the state of mind. A sentance we might use enlightment is would be: God is enlightened. Now you get the idea. Why apple is used I will try to decribe. Even though I am not so sure myself. An apple is a common fruit. The color it is most known for is red, and it's seeds are in the center. Because the apple is a common fruit this means the AoE is a common thing. The AoE exists every Millenium, when ever Giygas appears. One millenium is a short time in legends that have been passed down in different countrys. Red, the color of an apple is a primary color. This means the AoE is needed for all things to work. And keep Giygas from winning. Last, because the apple's seeds are in the center. This means that only the people who are ancestors of George, Giegue, or people who are helping the chosen ones can hear the "idea" (AoE) or write it for that matter. Now back to the theory. George recieved this "idea" and wrote it in his journal. This is why only people who have PSI or who are helping the people with PSI can read or hear it. When Maria drove Giegue to put her in Magicant he bacme the Cosmic destroyer. This is when the sound stone was created. This is why only the chosen ones can hear the song of Maria and enter Magicant. When Maria heared her song and left Magicant her song was again spread across the earth and Magicant was closed into the Sound Stone. When Giegue was destoryed by the chosen ones (three boys and one girl) he was forced to insanity. This is when he became obsessed with power. The AoE predicts that every millenium Ancestors of the chosen ones will defeat Giygas. I think in some way Giygas was a term used in Scarabia (in the game) which means "Total Destroyer". If Pokey switched places with Giygas I am not sure. I believe that Giygas can never be destroyed unless Maria's song is played to him again. This is why Buzz Buzz said the sound stone is the only thing that can destroy Giygas, because it contains Maria's song. But because the chosen one, the one who had the Sound Stone, was a decendant of Maria he was transported to Magicant a place made only of the dreams of him and his ancesstors. Thus the AoE is ever watching for when Maria's song will destroy Giegus. And why the Idea will never die.
ANTEBwizDx - ANTEBwizDX@aol.com
The part of Pokey becoming Giygas was an excellent theory, one which I came up with a long time ago. Listen: When Giygas gained ALL that power, he destroyed his physical self, he became the embodiment of evil. Now, notice: Everyone EXCEPT pokey turns back to normal when Giygas was destroyed, now since Giygas is no longer a Physical being, its possible that Pokey was Posessed by Giygas during or after the battle. Remember how Buzz Buzz Said Giygas was terrorizing the future? Well, when Pokey mails you that letter at the end of the game, its from the future as stated in the Players Guide. What if Ness and crew didn't CHANGE the future, they just helped it along? As in, when Giygas was Terrorizing the world, he was in Pokey's body? It makes sense if you think about it, giygas couln't take over the world as the embodiment of evil, he needed a Physical body (Pokey), and now that he has one, he went to the future and as Buzz Buzz said, he's ripping the place up. Remember: EarthBound 64 is supposed to take place 10 years after Mother 2, The EXACT time Giygas was taking over as said by Buzz Buzz. I think that it's possibly the most logical and possible theory.
That pretty much starts an entirely new theory, but one thats like many of the others. No one can be sure which of these varied 'Giygas is Pokey' theories is true, but we know that its one of them, and we'll find out when EB64 is released.
I think Giygas used the AoE in the future to foresee that someone from the past was going to try to stop him. So with his army stationed all around the world, he fled to a cave in the past where he hoped the four couldn't find him. I think the AoE is a device of some sort that can predict an outcome. And, as for the Pokey-swicheroo-with-Giygas theory, I can prove otherwise. At the end of the game, Pokey calls Ness spanky, if u can remember, so does Master Belch. So I think it is a sort of influence, rather than switching minds.
Thats very possible. The new evidence from the Heiroglpyhs supports that, since we see that Giygas has built a stronghold in the Cave of the Past.
Actually, the Apple of Enlightenment could be considered to be somewhere like the End of Time in Chrono Trigger, and Buzz-Buzz is merely the corporeal form of it, or a messenger or something like that. It could be a "thing", for lack of a better word, that has experienced everything, and knows what will happen. Of course, there's a lot of possibilities..
I tend to think of the AoE as something more tangible. I find myself thinking of a shiny metal or crystal apple that floats and does other weird things that only an enlightened apple would do :)
In EBz Giygas knew the main hero, and said that his great grandfather George stole secrets from Giygas. I believe that was PSI, and that George was the Apple of Enlightenment. He got that name because he passed the secret of PSI down to his descendants.
This is a possibility. It would explain the 'Enlightenment' part, since George would understand more of the aliens once he knew PSI. The 'Apple' part still remains a mystery, though. Maybe George was an ancestor of the Apple Kid, making Ness a distant relative of the Apple Kid? ;)
You said that the Apple of Enlightenment sounded familar? Well, I looked up Apple in the dictionary and I found some words that sound sort of like the apple: Apple of Sodom: Described by ancient writers as a fruit that looks good to the eye, but turns out to be nothing but smoke and ashes when plucked.Apple of Discord: Greek legend. A golden apple inscribed "For the fairest" thrown by the goddess of discord in a meeting of the gods. Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera forthwith claimed it, and in return for Aphrodite's promise to him that he might have Helen, the fairest of women, Paris awarded it to Aphrodite. This dispute and the decision of Paris led to th Trojan war. (This sounds rather odd. Oh well, that's Greek mytholgy for you.) Hope this helps.
Well, its hard telling if the EB storyline creators were using Greek mythology. It is an extremely popular source of names for games, servers, companies, etc... You'll find Greek mythology everywhere you look. As Tomato points out, there's even Greek mythology in EarthBound, in the use of symbols for the different levels of PSI attacks (Alpha, Beta, Sigma, Omega).
Giampi - email@example.com
The theories about the Apple of Enlightenment can vary. Who knows if this 'Apple' is really something tangible? For all we know, it could stand for whatever is written in past records. Remember that it was prophetized that Ness and co. would defeat Giygas. So maybe the Apple of Enlightenment is just another way of saying 'written legends' (a colloquial slang of some sort--aliens have culture too, you know). And as for the time travel, it is a definite possibility that Giygas came and trashed the Earth in the future, forcing Buzz Buzz to travel back in time to warn Ness. For all we know, the prophecy doesn't obey the rules of linear time (the prophecy could be "Giygas thrashes Earth and someone from the past will defeat him") and space.
Now you're getting into the deep stuff. I did a paper on the space-time continuum a few months ago, but if I started talking about that, I'd never stop :) Anyways, to sum it up, time travel is HORRIBLY complex, and since it hasn't been figured out yet, we won't worry about it. But your ideas about the future destruction almost have to be true, because Ness wouldn't be around to save it if it happened before his time (count on me to state the obvious :)
Aziz - firstname.lastname@example.org
When Buzz Buzz joins you for a short period of time, he mentions that he is 10 years from the future. and then as soon as you battle Star man Jr he says that Giygas sent him from ten years in the future. While at the end of the game, you go ten years into the past instead of the future to battle giygas. That seems mysterious, dosent it?
My only guess to this one is that you're traveling back in time because Giygas needs to be destroyed before he destroys the earth. If you were to go forward in time, Giygas would have already done the damage. So in order to keep him from even starting the destruction, you must destroy him in the past. The Japanese version of Mother 2 may tell us otherwise, though. Keep your eyes on Tomato's Mother 2 to EarthBound and Back Again to find out anything that may have been changed by NOA during translation.
Starman Sr. - email@example.com
I don't think the "Apple Of Enlightenment" is any special term made up by Shigesato to add to the drama of the game or something like that, because I am pretty sure that I have either heard of or heard this term or phrase mentioned sometime in my life. What I mean is, the "Apple Of Enlightenment" could be a legend or something, because in the beginning of the game, Buzz Buzz said " In ancient times, writings tell of three boys and a girl, who defeat Giygas" this means that this wasn't the first time that Giygas tried to invade Earth, meaning that Giygas tried to invade Earth hundreds of years ago (and several times, I might add) and each time, three boys and a girl or "The Chosen Ones" have defeated Giygas. This means that over generations, Giygas has tried to invade Earth, only to be defeated by the "chosen ones". Because this has happened so many times, there is an automatic assumption that each time Giygas tries to invade earth, he can and will fail in his attempt or as it's worded in the game, the "Apple of Enlightenment's prediction". Also, before the final battle, when Pokey mentions the "Apple of Enlightenment" he says it has made a prediction, which is the fact that Giygas will be defeated by three boys and a girl, aka, Ness and Co. He also says that he will not let that take place, because it is Giygas' destruction and it is inevitable. But how does Pokey know this? There are two ways: Giygas told Pokey about this, or Giygas and Pokey really have switched places. If you don't understand this theory, or have had trouble understanding it, I am sorry because it is very hard to word.
The AoE seems like a familiar term to me too, for some reason. I really can't pinpoint it. I don't know about the defeat of Giygas every time he has invaded though. I always thought that this was the initial attack of Giygas, otherwise people wouldn't have been so surprised by it (as far as one can say that the people in EarthBound were 'surprised' by all the weirdness around them).
BriCkrOad - firstname.lastname@example.org
Here are some of my opinions about the apple -- (1) It was used in the future, since the Starmen seem to be from the future (remember that first fight with the Starman Jr.?, Buzz Buzz said he came from 10 years in the future). However, it could have been the past, seeing as how Buzz Buzz knew the story of the 'Nightmare Rock' (Sound Stone) and how it would be 'shattered' (disappear after Magicant was no more) and said that it was an 'ancient' story. One thing I think is pretty clear though, the AOE was not used in the present.
I agree. I doubt the AoE was used in the present, but here's an argument. The fact that the Starmen are from the future is true, but it doesn't mean that the AoE was used in the future. The AoE could have been used a long time ago, and the Starmen would still know about it. Another possibility is that it was used 10 years in the past, when you travel to the cave of the past. If you think about it on a timeline, ten years in the past is the first time the AoE is talked about. Pokey talks about it in the Final Battle. But, then again, its also possible that Pokey and Giygas retreated to the Cave of the Past from the future, already knowing the prediction of the AoE. Thats a really tough subject :)