Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Day 343

it's been more then 2 years since i last touched this thing. i don't know if that makes me nostalgic or like i cut out a piece of myself and just found it on my floor under some old books while cleaning. in any case, i have a project I'm following, fairly simple in an unoriginal concept, that I'm trying to work through.

365 days.
each day write something. doesn't have to be longer then a single sentence. doesn't have to be shorter then a pages. no limit, can be fiction or non, topical or ancient. just to keep me writing, and doing something i enjoy. I'll see what comes of that. i started on 337. days have gone by. some days i will write hard, in one of the books i use, in which case I'll post the same thing as i do in my notes ( - Black Book -). it's a black note book. anyway. my hand has the day number sharpied on. so that what I'm trying.
hobie-ho, k'vesi, let's go.
ps. spelling might be an issue. just saying. same thing with language graphic, etc. proly won't be graphic, but that again i wouldn't have guessed this last year.

Two things at the start of the day. First, I’m thinking of throwing this online. I figure as long as I’m debasing myself, I might as well provide entertainment for the dredges of the internets. Second, I’ve got a line so I’m running with it.

No one expects to fall in love. Hell, mopst people I know don’t think it will ever happen. Sure they might hope, "one day”, but they don’t talk like that. My best friend is currently in a relationship with a lovely woman he loves. They live together and while they have their share of issues, they try to make it work as best as possible. I remember when we were in high school and neither of us knew much about the world, specifically love and sex, only that I enjoyed sex, and both of us we’re sure that my best friend, Zeus, would never love someone.

I think the idea was more that there would never be someone who COULD love him. Not that he’s a bad person, he just has many sociopathic tendancies. Like me, only the other half, which is probably why we fit so well together. More then one person has thought we were gay. I even remember the conversation where we ended up deciding that if either one of us were a girl, we’d be with each other and no one else. But I’ll get back to that. Or I conveniently won’t. we’ll see.

Back to high school, mid way trhough. So neither of us thought much on love. I had just came out of something big, and was playing the field. Zeus, hadn’t, and wasn’t. soon after he met Nat and after some time, he found he was interested in her. He asked her out and they had a fun time. It happened more. They got together and they both found love. He jumped off a cliff and fell so madly in love that they’re together to this day. This holiday they’’re going to mexico for a week. Leaving xmas eve and back week later. Leaving me alone for the haloidays.

One of the thinsg you don’t want to do is be alone for the holidays. I think its one of those mistletoe psychologies. At the moment I’m friendly with Mir, but still try to get about. Problem is we make a horrible couple, but we enjoy sleeping together. And when we’re back in the City, we don’t see each other because, well, Toronto is cold at christams and neither of our houses are open to our needs. Also, while cold nipples are amusing, perky and cute, frost mixed into that ruins it remarkably fast. So does frost bite. Just saying.

So that leaves me alone for the upcoming hol;iday, something hich I have done before, but it seems to loom at present. I’m not sure what to make of the future. I don’t relish the idea of not having someone to kiss in the week of freedom I have between terms, and it urks me to entertain the idea that I ask so few people out anymore.

You can’t fall if you don’t jump. Fall in love, or in bed. Either one would be good right now.

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