Thursday, January 07, 2010

Day 7

So I come back to my keyboard after busy days and writing in books, as opposed to on screen.

I find myself saying the same things over. History repeating to routine. Thankfully its not predictable routine. But I feel like I’m going through the motions none the less.

Life goes on. You can’t save a person from drowning if they drag you down with them. You’re not responsible for other people’s happiness. Tomorrow’s a new day.

Smile here. Small joke here. Comfort in silence. Physical reassurance. Bash the adversary. Generalize and minimize impact of situation. Grand life dilemmas, pivot’s that govern the lives of everyone around, yourself included, structured on a extensive game script. I’m no different. A parable or two, reminders, perspective, reset, rerun the sequence, hard boot and log back on, back at what drove you to wherever you got to. Life shouldn’t be so deconstructable. I guess that’s where the joys of faith come in. if you can hand wave most of life to a simple, “if God wills” then there will always be a mystery to find out, regardless if you ever shall.

I came home to deer in my back yard. My house was mostly dead and four of them were directly out of my back door, grazing in the snowy grass. Three fawns and a doe. I remembered the feeling of being humbled by nature. I don’t feel that as often as I should, as much as I’d like to. I try to appreciate the beauty of nature, but even in the last half week I find myself slipping back into the world of grind. And I’m not sure I want to go back willingly. Not to the monotony. To new things, sure, but boredom and learning should never be hand in hand. Here he two of them are stapled together, duck-taped, chained and forcibly bolted together in most cases.

I resized and built the Nonaverse’s globe recently. It was wonderful, visiting old places. A few days ago I started drawing out the districts and city layout of Fourside, on the north coast of Edge island, Eagleland. I’m finding myself less interested in people around me again. My sleep patterns don’t help with that, but I haven’t missed a class yet.

Today’s tarot of the day is the Hanged Man, which is also my bookmark in World Without Us.

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