Thursday, March 30, 2006

A bedtime story, one spring evening

Tonight I was asked to tell a story that fit the description "a really dark one with a semi happy ending" while it came to mind, i think i told it pretty well, concidering. if you know the story, then cool, iif not, then have a hoot. : ) -A

heed children,
in a place far from this, there lived one who was born into pain

before the child was born, there was a great war, and batlles held the land caaptive at the pinnacle of this war was a great demon, one who came out of the sand of the desert. when the war was ended, and the demon smote(love that word : ) ) its remaining soul and power was sealed within a newborn child, whos mother had died giving him birth with the demon sealed within his body, the child grew up as royalty, as that was his natural heritage, but the demon, far from laying dormant, pushed the boys body and manifested itself in ways that caused the boy... uniqueness

as the demon had been one of sand, and seeing as the boy, and hos city, was located in a mighty desert, his body formed a symbiotic relationship wth the sand. it was habit of the people of the city, to carry gourds of water on their backs, but in the childs gourd, there was not water, but the very sand that he was born upon. this sand became infused with the demons powers that leaked through the seal and became part of the child.

the sand which was held in his gourd, formed a barrier between the child and any threat to the childs body, in essence becoming another apendage, subcouciously controlled. when something was out of reach of teh child, the sand flew from his gourd in a fine trickle to lift the object down to him. such was the childs unity with the sand demon.

unfortunately or fortunately, depending on perspective, being he home of such a demon made the boy an out cast. the child grew up , never having felt pain, seeing as every time somethiing came close to harming his bofy, the sand would protect him. the and followed his will, which as time went on grew hatefull and lonely. any who crossed him, died in mound of sand,of instanly, being slaughterd by materialising arms, made from the ground. even when he was a child, his one wish was to be like any other children, but, excluded as he was, wheever he got close to othr children, bad things usually occured.

one such example happened when he was watching some kids his age (round 7ish) play with a ball in a cliff alleyway. on a particular strong kick, the ball was lodged high up in the rock , with no way of getting it down. much to the cother childrens fear and amazement, the ball was lifted on a cloud of sand and brought down into the hands of the demon child, who handed the ball back to the children. the children though, were scared, and becan to run away. the demon child called and plleaded to teh children not to leave him, but doing so caused the sand to encass the scaredchildren and crush them. such event happen until the boy secluded himself and learned to controll his emotions, though his lonliess got worse as the years went on.

his life was painfull n many wayson his many attempts to comit suicide, he failed continuously as the sand always protected him, no matter how small

he trained , as was his way, to follow the path of his brother and sister, who were both training to be warriors to protect the village. one day, when he got into a fight, which happened quite frequently, considering the number of assassins who had tried to take his life, only to be crushed throttled or slaughtered by the sand. when the pivoting point of this fight came, he slowly,counsiously crushed the life from his adversaries body.

when he formed his hand to a fist and mentaly willed the opponents death, he felt for teh first time in his life what it truly felt to be alive. this then became his goal, knowing that could ot be killed by any means known to him, his purpose, he decided was to feel that feeling as many times as he could, to feel as alive as he could.

in effect, his goal, his purpose in life was to kill all those around him.

he went through his life, slaghtering those who opposed him , acting as a warrior for his city and tribe, until such a day came when all the warriors from his city and teh neighbouring cities, gathered together for a grand competition and chance for promotion within the warrior ranks. while the ranks held little value to him, he saw it as an excellant opertunity to coninuty with his lifes goal...

upon going to the mass competition, and killing a dozen or so people, he came to the final round robin event, which were warrior against warrior battle. needless to say, much blood wa spilt. his first oponent, was another young warrior who moved like no other he had seen. he had no visable skills with weaponry or elemental or anything else. all his abilities were focused on physical attacks with his body, and his speed. for the first time in his life, he was struck and felt pain for teh sand, phenomonaly fast as it was, was not able to keep up with teh rapid attacks of the young man. eventually, as all things must, the fight eneded with the fast warrior sacrificing his body for a killing stroke, which was absorbed by the sand. his body,like so many bofre him, was partially crushed and killed.

the child of the sand then faced a second oponent, who had a power like no other, such was his focuse that he could concentrate his being, his energy, into the palm of his hand, electricfying to the pooint that what ever was struck by this charged hand, was instantly killed. once again, a fight of epic proportions occured, finally breaking out of teh arena and into a close forest, where a chase and finally, a confrontation resulted. this time though, upon the turning point of teh battle, the sand demon reptured part of the seal that restrained him within the childs body, and transformed half of him into a monstrous sand monster, filled with the same desire to kill, backed by the same power to do so.

the now partially emerged sand demon/child subdued his second opponent, and would have killed him, if not for his third, and final adversary joining the fray, and saving the second.

The Sand demon now transformed the child to a near full power source, becoming incredibly monstrus and powerfull. but, while the other opponents had been strong through their abilities, this last had another kind of strength. the final adversary, he also had a demon sealed withinn him, a different demon, a demon of fire from a different such, when they fought, their demons powered their desires. the sand demon, the urge to kill for life. teh fire demon, the passion to protect those he cared about, namley the child of the snd's second opponent(who was his close friend) and a third warrior who had breifly fought against the sand demon, who was in danger of death, though seperate from the fight.

now , when both demons fought, they unleashed their full destructive foces against each, and incredibly, though both inner demons were realsed as manifestation, the child of teh sand, and teh demon within him, were defeated. while the seemingly broken child lay on the ground, he looked over at his opponent, who was also, amazingly, crumpled on the ground

after a few momments of silence, the fire warrior, slowly dragged himself(literally) over to the other fallen one. there he told him, that, it was not his strength that let him beat him, nor his skill, but because he knew what the sand child felt. he too had been isolated, abanded and sacrificed for his villages safety. and his village had treated him with contempt and ignored him just as with teh other. but unlike the sand child, when he was placed in his warriortraining group, he became close to the other two people, and had come to care about them. these peple rescured him from lonliness, and for that he was stronger.

this short conversation was an epiphamy for the child of teh sand, who when he was picked up momments later by by his own teammates, his brother and sister, made a new vow, found a new purpose, which was to protect his people, his home, with his life and his all, as the child of teh fire demon had done . He went on to become KazeKage(head leader) of his city.

His name was Gaara of the Sand.

Another rant- Be a rebel

here's a great rant that Di sent me. i loved it, so up it goes, creditsto the one who initially wrote it, its true for the majority.... -A

Everyday, millions of children march to school with drudgery and resistance. As young children, they go in open-hearted and free -- at night, they imagine that their tiny hands can reach up and touch the birds. The entire world is a new place and the fascination of beauty never subsides. But as older adolescents leaving their high school, they go close-minded and bondaged -- at night, they drink themselves into passing out and talk about the most popular thing to come, under obligation. The boys worry about their sexual conquests. The girls worry about their sexual appearance. Both worry about being social in a society that has made a weakness of kindness and an insult of emotion. Such a great change occurs between those who enter school and those who leave it.

Just think of the sheer idiocy of compulsary education. We threaten these children with imprisonment if they do not appear in class. Once in class, they spend their time either sleeping or completing tasks that are completely irrelevant to them. By giving them no option in their schooling, what have we taught them? The first lesson they learn is to detest learning, to hold unbridled sympathy for education. Take any man, put him in chains, and force him to recite poetry, or force him to play an instrument, or force him to farm the land -- and once he becomes a free man, do you think he will want to engage in that activity that was forced upon him? The scars on a slaves hands from working the fields, the memories of abuse of a house servant; given the right to do as they wish in the world, is it likely to think that they will return to that work which they were forced to do? And then consider schools. We force children to sit and overfeed them erroneous facts, faulty logic, damaged reasoning, concealed under the guise of "schooling." Once the mental faculties of these children are damaged, their heart grows an animosity towards learning, towards books, towards facts and knowledge. It is the greatest folly to make children hate learning, and the greatest danger to a real, living Democracy in any nation.

Because when the Red Sox win a baseball game, five universities in the state of Massachussetts riot. But when the United States regime supports a South American dictator known for slaughtering his own people, it's a whisper lost in the wind.

Our ignorance is their power.

Real knowledge is acquired by learning what interests you, through reading, investigation, practice, or any other desirable method. To become intelligent, you must engage in activity with the idea that are you learning because you want to, because knowledge is a goal. The path to conformity varies greatly from this. First, you engage in nothing, but allow cultural standards and social obligations to control you. Second, the idea of learning is to memorize random, perhaps unrelated and blatant facts -- true or untrue -- so that they may be recited upon command. Third, the goal is not knowledge, but a passing grade; they learn to for the sake of knowledge, but rather for the sake of social acceptance.

Take two children. Give the first freedom and liberty, give him a wealth of books and movies, give him teachers to aid him upon his request and a place that encourages art, creativity, and independence. Then take away the freedom and liberty of the second, require his presence in a classroom in front of a teacher, threaten him with a jail sentence if he does not go to his school. Give each of them ten or fifteen years, and check the development of each of them after this amount of time. The only forced to endure slavery may be able to stand in a lecture hall and he might be able to say to you, "George Washington was born in 1732 and died in 1799. In 1776, the Revolutionary War began where he acted as general. In 1783, it ended. In 1789, he was elected president a first time, and in 1792, he was elected president a second time." You are given dates and events, surely, it is true history. But take the child who was given freedom to do as he pleased, and he might be able to stand in a lecture hall and tell you, "In the sixteenth century, in Europe, a Spanish physician by the name of Michael Servetus was convicted of heresy by the Roman Catholic Church. Fleeing from his oppressors, he made it to Geneva, where the vindictive John Calvin had absolute authority. In earlier years, Servetus expressed his doubt on Calvin's protestant religion. Once captured by the authorities, Servetus was burned to death at the orders of John Calvin in 1533. They had him wear a hat of sulphur and used slow-burning wood, that the crowd could listen to screams for mercy for the duration of a half hour. One year after the death of this man, Calvin published a list of insults of his former enemy."

Be a rebel. Because being a conformist means admitting that the parts of you that matter are already dead.
But if that's the case, what does matter? The emotions that run rampant through our head, the thoughts that we tumble and toss over in our minds constantly -- sexual fantasies to memories of our friends and family, thoughts and ideas about our future, wishes and desires for our current life with those who are close to us. The idea of a living freedom, knowing that what you wish to do believe with your mind is unrestricted and what you wish to do with your body, so long as you harm none, is unlimited. Life matters to us because we make it matter; if we never told a lover we would miss them upon our departure for a long voyage, if we never told a family member that we dream of a time when oppression ended, if we never wrote a poem and hoped to give it to a friend whose face we haven't seen in years -- if we never cared about life, then life wouldn't matter. What matters is what we make matter. So in a few years, all the kids who graduate from high school will know that their grades never mattered, because even though so young, they already know that it won't be the grades they got that they think about upon their death bed.

Twenty years ago the textbooks used in history class just began to cover some of the issues of the four hundred years of oppression of the African race in this country.

Children who are forced into a school and forced to complete erroneous assignments learn only one thing: to hate education. I clearly demonstrated this truth earlier, but there is more to be learned from it. Take a slave. It could be a slave from any society, whether an African in colonial America or a Plebeian in the Roman Empire. For the entirety of their life, they labor. Their sweat, their tears, their blood, the biproducts of their toil seep into the ground and their garments. All they produce goes to the one who did not labor (and alas, our modern Capitalist system has managed to recreate these conditions). Inside every slave, there will be a growing hatred of their activity as a servant, a farmer, a manufacturer -- they will learn to hate what has been forced upon them without their consent. But inside some of them, there will be the kindling of hope for a dream. One day, they will hope to produce for themselves, knowing that what their hands reap will be what fills their stomach, and not the stomach belonging to idle hands. So, too, it is with our compulsary education. The more we are forced into schools and our minds filled with useless facts, the stronger our thirst grows for real education, for real knowledge. Few are like this, but we exist. Others simply remain politically and emotionally sedated, as the focus of their mind is the next test or the next prom, and not children enslaved in southeast asia or the meaning of life.
To every student who must endure the excuse of an education system that we have, I can only offer these words of hope... Educate yourself, not with school teachers, but with the books they wanted to ban. Teach yourself, learn, grow, and develop. Learn that the greatest asset education can offer is that of independence.
"If the teacher happens to be a man of sense, it must be an unpleasant thing to him to be conscious, while he is lecturing his students, that he is either speaking or reading nonsense, or what is very little better than nonsense.
"The discipline of colleges and universities is in general contrived, not for the benefit of the students, but for the interest, or more properly speaking, for the ease of the masters. Its object is, in all cases, to maintain the authority of the master, and whether he neglects or performs his duty, to oblige the students in all cases to behave to him, as if he performed it with the greatest diligence and ability. It seems to presume perfect wisdom and virtue in the one order, and the greatest weakness and folly in the other."
-- Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations, Book 5, Chapter I, Part 3, Article II.

Life matters to us because we make it matter. Be a rebel.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


hmmm, it has been far too ong since ive put anything up here, mind, not like anyone reads this thing so really its just another place to vent, like i dont have enough of those ckl... anywho, tons has been happen, good, bad wicked bad, evil, great, fun, good and lovely, in that order. but yeah, i finaly beat calvin at math, something ive had a long time coming, and bested him in this years fermat contest, so w00t. people around me continue to fall, as always, so unfortunate, but its a lot less unexpected by now.

in ways of my crmpling to things, diana finaly did what many have tried to do over the last few years, and i caved and got gmail and the messenger thing for it. i like it better then msn, as it doesnt killthe pc im using as much, plus its a lot simpler. i misss my display pic though..... but yeah, more people should come join me, tis a hoot, the cutomisible busy

in bad news, i have tests which are killing me, chem yesterday, math tomorow, and yeah, its annoying. i might be doing the skills canda compitition with jozef,in animation, but we shall see. im bitter at the lack of sales at my shop, but im blaming that on my lack of advertising, something i need to deal with soon.

also, must deal with thinking this may be my last year, considering how i should earn ome money and all for food during university...

in the othr parts of the world, i am making tons aof progress on my book, which, though originally intened as a linking between 6 seperate worlds and chars, has morphed ito abetter story revolving shinigami (death gods for those who dont know there japanese or manga). Ive built up quite a bit of text (Bout 50 pages of scrawsl and 20 mins of recorded story) as well as some char design. so far ve got the main guy Atethrie (yes im basing the name of him on mine, why the hell not) Dom, his teacher/turner/whatever (based on dom, so it works out well enough. other shinigami ive mapped include Hail, Bear, Gabe, and CC. im basing gabe odd di, but im not sure who to base on jozef, as hes not really a guy to slot to a character. anywho, tons of fun there, i still have yet to write the sex scene , which im not sure why... meh, itll come when it does, no pun intended. i have a feeling im going to be called to fodd shortly so yeah... im so going to see if i can incorperate some kind of ranting about freedom into my book, as v for vendetta has an awsoem quote sin it, which i really like, though im thinking of mixing them with some of teh ones from batman begins, as they seem to have some sharing of ideals

other then that, im not sure, i really like di, and am definitly going to ask her out again, if only becca would stop houndingme, but hey, isnt that what friends do? hmmmm, who knows, had an awsoem day off, no iit test for me,so i spent the day looking for a cigar shop with jozef, as we needed a high res image for animation. no luck, but had a great day anyway.

kk, so ive gone on for a long time, with no particular reason, so go visit the EC shop and ill end it with a quote from mine and josef talk today. skallebuskallada,


"Hows this for a theory: you know how when you die, you have a really detailed flashback of your entire life? what your living now, is the flashback. thats why things seem predetermined, thats why theres fate, youve already lived it, you ve met the people and lived the life. now your just seeing it again."- Jozef

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Sorry and NY w000000t!

first things first, many apologies that i havent been able to update this in ages, but ive been extrememly busy with this , that, and the other ( you know the one im talking about : p ) ive been doing tons lately, trying to get out of the house and away fom my past which has slightly worked. ive got mountains of work, as always, but other as well. im actually going eally strong through my book and might actually post some, of it, if i ever get around to typing it up.

*news* The erotica fic i promised a few people a while ago is actually really close to completion, i found a draft in the back of my BlackBook the other day and it doesnt look to bad, though i want to go into more detail in a few parts. *

on another fun note, my march break wa rather awsome with my going to new york with my dad. twas tons of fun and exhausting. did anyone know that a street corner can become tighter packed then a mosh pit? st. patricks day has fun to walk aroudn the city during, tons and tons of drunken people and many opportunites, damn my *&%&^# code.

kk, im tored and needing to to some work later so im going off, hopefully ill put something else up soon, skallebuskallada,